Talking Dogs, Space Oddities, Communication Breakdown

 What the hell kind of title is that?  Well, it's not what you think.  

I have a whole Bachelor's degree in Speech & Hearing Sciences that I'm really not using.  Except it has taken on a fascinating new twist as I work to have a better relationship with my dogs.  I want to know more about what the dog can tell me.  Not with a fancy word button board, because while an interesting concept, I'm not lugging one with me to competitions.  I also don't know how you'd put emotions on the board.  I have been paying a lot of attention to Pixar's communication with me.  Partially because I didn't think about it a whole lot with Wire, but also because Pixar has had far less exposure to dog sport settings.  (Cue the violin as we sing about poor pandemic puppies).  In reality, I should be this attentive with all our dogs.  

Since my hamster sized dog Betty, I have not had a truly fearful dog.  I had some dogs go through fear periods, but nothing like Betty's global fear.  Where I had to continually monitor the situation as well as constantly looking to see what Betty noticed in the environment.  Now, some of it was nutty.  Like a folding chair.  A cat picture on a wall of a training facility.  A tree stump in the yard.  You just never knew what might scare her, and while it was totally illogical to me, it was terrifying to her.  I had to respect that her fears were just that...hers.  You might have some irrational fears yourself.  Spiders?  Snakes?  Flying?  Heights?  Fear of missing out?  Whatever your fears are, they are yours.  Someone out there keeps tarantulas & snakes as pets.  People love flying & even jump out of perfectly good planes too.  And there are levels to your fears right?  A little spider, no big deal.  A dark room full of spiders...that's a BIG DEAL.  

We were off to a new Toss & Fetch disc venue for Pixar.  Now Pixar is usually uber friendly with other dogs.  Too uber.  We've worked on not visiting and I've paid heavily for attention to me with treats & toy play.  And he LOVES disc.  But this time, we were going to the training yard of a dog park.  All the park areas converge at one entrance point.  There are lots of well meaning park goers who will let their dog get in your dog's face.  I had some challenges getting there, and I arrived RIGHT at our start time.  There was an incident with a metal tool spiked into my van tire.  Ugh!  That's the dog mobile!  It has crates & all my stuff in it.  Plan B, take my husband's truck!  It's got a extra cab, but now I have 3 dogs loose in the truck vs kenneled.  Ugh Ugh.  I threw 3 dogs, gear bag, extra gloves into the truck and almost forgot treats.  Dang it.  No treat bag.  Then couldn't find a treat bag, so I grabbed my daughters treat bag.  It's got a belt that was sized for a 9 year old's waist.  Better than nothing.  We roll up to the parking lot & Pixar is super amped seeing all the dogs.  And he's loose, in the truck.  Wire & Sway were like WTF dude!  I wanted to get my gear in the training yard, I knew Pixar was at the beginning of the run order.  I wisely got out of the truck alone first and grabbed my stuff.  I flailed around frantically changing the belt size, wrong way, shit, make it bigger.  I talked to my friend Peggy about the minor vehicle catastrophe & that helped me calm a bit.  Then I took a breath and just told myself to RELAX, and then magically I stopped fumbling.  I got the treat bag belt sized properly, put it on, grabbed my gear bag & then got Pixar out of the truck.  

Pixar was still very amped.  He wouldn't take treats, he would sniff them or grab one and spit it out.  I still marked if he checked in with me, even though he wasn't taking the treats.  He was dragging me as we walked vs our nice loose leash walking.  I let that happen because I knew I wasn't going to have the mindset to work on that without frustration on both our parts.  Sometimes perfect isn't going to happen...Let it go!  We negotiate the oncoming dogs with a short leash & made it into the training field area.  Then I got out a disc to use to reward him.  We found out we had to wait a while so we played some fun cued disc grabs and then he calmed down & could take treats again.  I was really proud of him for connecting with me and not focusing on the dogs playing disc in our immediate area.  He also was not paying attention to the general dog park melee on the other side of the chain link fence.  He was excited but functional and I knew we were connected.  We did our practice throw and I made sure to call him & play tug when he brought back the disc.  Then we did our turn.  He was focused & played hard, never noticing the dogs in our area or in the big dog park.  We leashed up & left with lovely walking, lots of cookies, several sniffs & pees.  It was great!  I will take that all as a huge success, especially with a young dog & a whole lot of chaos.  

After Pixar I worked thru Wire and Sway's turns.  The girls were both excellent.  Wire has been at this field before & practically led me in.  Sway was just happy I picked her to be the one for this round of disc.  She is 7.5 years old and steady as can be amongst chaos.  Now thunder...that's a nope.  But all this, no biggie, give her the disc or treats, whatever but let's go do some work!  Gotta love older trained dogs!  Pixar got to watch the girls go courtesy of the truck's lack of crates.  He was pretty exhausted after his turn, and I didn't even see him as I took Wire in.  When I swapped to Sway...he was recovered and made some mournful noises while watching her and I.  When we came back he was quietly watching from the driver's seat.  He was rather surprised when I asked him to come back out for his second turn.  

This time, he was perfect walking to the field, took treats, didn't pull.  He was aware of the dogs but not excited by them.  I had the disc & treats he took both easily.  Then I saw THEM.  Great.  There are several dog park regulars that we've run into before in past disc seasons.  Big dogs who like to case the fence line while we do disc.  They bark fiercely and you worry a bit about them going over the fence.  The start line is like 25' from that fence line.  It's a big distraction.  We weren't up yet, so I hoped they'd move on...though I was pretty sure that was a futile wish.  There owner is slow and doesn't care that they are jerks.  Sure enough...they stayed put.  I think they'd love a good fence fight.  Pixar might like a good fence fight too...UGH.  UGH!   Well.  Time to find out.  

I kept Pixar engaged with me but I also didn't want him to be totally unaware.  What had been a safe, happy space, now had a new, different & intense vibe to it.  We walked to the line engaged, getting treats.  I asked him to sit at my side and he promptly did as asked.  However, he was looking a bit wigged out.  Big eyes, worried face scrunch.  He was sitting but his body was tense.  The dogs were behind him.  He started throwing Auto Check Outs at those big scary dogs.  It was CLEAR that he was worried about them.  Those dogs.  RIGHT THERE!  I marked his Check Outs, rewarded him with treats.  He kept throwing his head toward them, more marks & rewards.  Then I saw the moment he relaxed.  It was like he said to me.  "I believe you will keep me safe, I trust you mom."  It all happened in less than a minute.  It felt like I was delaying everything, but I also knew that my fellow disc mates would understand.  They know these big scary dogs are a huge problem.  Then I gave the nod and we did it.  1 minute, 4 throws, done, a nice long tug with the disc and then collar back on & lots of cookies as we walked away.  Think about it, every time he carried the disc back to me, he was running headlong towards those dogs.  He could see them pacing and carrying on.  It's very threatening behavior to other dogs.  I was so proud.  I was super proud of Pixar.  I was super proud of me for letting Pixar talk to me.  I listened, I reassured him and we persevered.  

So I don't have a panel of buttons for dogs to press.  Sometimes we just aren't going to communicate when the environment is too exciting.  But I have given them a way that they can talk to me.  I can pay attention and let them tell me when there is a problem.  There can be space oddities and communication breakdowns, that doesn't mean you and the dog have failed.  I listened.  He was too excited & I wasn't prepared enough to get nice loose leash walking our first time entering the field.  Everything aligned the second turn, I was ready, he was ready, but the dog park fairy threw something unexpected at us.  I helped reassure him, I helped him know it was okay to do the fun thing, even with the jerks behind the fence yelling at him.  

Those kind of dogs are exactly why I don't go to dog parks.  Now, is Pixar a fearful dog?  Nope.  Trust me...sooo NOPE.  If I had let that be a bad experience or asked him to perform under duress, I might be dealing with a new problem.  Instead we had a huge win.   Will I continue to be watching, listening to him and making sure we are connected?  You bet.  Think how confident he must feel knowing we are partners, that he can tell me something, that he's not trapped in a situation where he has no control.  I sure feel better knowing he can talk to me.  He was exhausted that evening.  He worked very hard...for 2 whole minutes of disc.  Good boy Pix, good boy!        

What's in Your Toolbox?

As a dog trainer, I've jammed my training toolbox FULL of lots of tools.  To be honest, it's a messed up jumble in that toolbox, but my most used tools stay at the top of the heap.  There are some extra bits of junk in there though. Like Despair, Excuses, and some extra vials of Ego. So it's really good to sort thru your toolbox every once in a while. What is useless?  What's just garbage getting in the way? Why are there so many cheese stick wrappers in here? Those kind of hard questions need to be asked as you sort. Maybe Marie Kondo that toolbox!  I thought about her "does this item bring you joy" concept a lot in the last 24 hours. The problem is I see a lot of people who hold Despair, Excuses, and Ego in their hands and it DOES bring them joy. So they put it back in the toolbox. Maybe they leave it right on top, covering up all those really useful tools. 

 

I put a lot of thought into reorganizing my toolbox.  We had a new session of Toss & Fetch, a distance disc throwing league start yesterday.  I cajoled the organizers into organizing it.  As one of my favorite tools is Organizing Shit. Since I am not the organizer, I had to just use my powers of persuasion to annoy the organizers. However I did show up early and stay late, help set up and helped the whole night. My Organizing Shit experiences helps me know that many hands make less work. And organizers are more likely to organize if they have ready help. So definitely use your Be A Helper tool a lot more often. Now you might say, Jayne, why is your toolbox a mess? Especially if you love Organizing Shit so much!  Well, um, good question. The Shit, in this instance, is opportunities, not my tools. If you want more opportunities in life & don't want to organize them yourself, use that Be A Helper tool!  
I used some other tools last night. Be Prepared was the one I grabbed right away. I made sure I had treats, treat bag, leashes, water, bowls, my discs, a towel for wiping my hands/the disc, a mask, a spare mask. I often use my Fly by the Seat of your Pants tool which is frankly, an inferior tool. You should only use that in emergencies. Like when life stomps on your Be Prepared tool. Just put on your Fly by the Seat of your Pants & hope for the best.  In this case I took my Be Prepared tool out extra early and thought about how I'd incorporate that into my training plans. I have 6 dogs, and I like to work with all of them. Sometimes that means I get out the Spread Too Thin tool and all get some, but not all that much.  To avoid having to use that, I opted to work with only the two youngest dogs.  

Wire is 2.5 years old, and lives to work. Any work, all the work. She was an obvious choice of dog to bring.  Plus she rocks. That's for me. I have been working on training myself to do longer distance throws and she is a fast, accurate dog. So a bit of Ego on my part helped me match the dog to my personal goals. Pixar is 15 months old & had been in few novel places in those 15 months. Covid obviously altered a lot of our opportunities in 2020. But he also hasn't been a lot of places because I have my own training facilities. That's a Good/Bad Thing tool. While it is a luxury to have a facility, it also means I have to get my dogs to other places for novel experiences. Luckily Pixar is a stable, happy dog. He's not environmentally sensitive and if anything is overly friendly with people and dogs. But opportunities are meant to be seized, Be Prepared to grab them!

The Be Prepared tool also meant I thought about who I wanted to work first. I knew if I started with Wire, my youngster Pixar would be rather peeved. I don't know what a peeved Pixar would be like alone in a soft crate. So I worked him first. Then I recognized that I had an opportunity to walk him out & then go right back in. I had pulled out this great tool called Be Flexible. Be Flexible is one of the best tools, remember to grab it often!  It can be used in conjunction with all your other tools. Useful for adjusting attitudes and when dealing with problem people. It also can grease wheels with organizers! Because I had used the Be Prepared tool, I could easily switch plans. I had my treat bag on, discs already in the building, a disc carried out with me to get Pixar. I wanted to set expectations coming out of his crate and then be 100% focused on him and his emotions. I wanted to react quickly if he was too high, stressed, or just perfect! I was ready to use Connection to quickly bring us together. 

 
Now Connection is an amazing tool, and like a socket wrench, there are parts that attach to it, that make it more useful in many of situations.  I used a whole bunch of my Quick Connect tools to tighten the Connection.  Auto Check Ins, Auto Check Outs, Loose Leash Walking, Sit, Patience, and Humor.  As we got into the building my people loving boy had already been rewarded handsomely.  I tightened that Connection with my Be Generous tool. So when he saw people and I suggested mobbing them wasn't the right choice, he took that pretty well.  He was sniffing & looking around happily. Then I saw him get a little nervous.  It wasn't much of a signal, but I didn't want to ignore it. I quickly cued a Sit.  That's one of his default behaviors, he sat, and I rewarded. He pointedly did a Auto Check In. Reward. He pointedly did an Auto Check Out. Reward.  He kept doing Auto Check Outs, I kept rewarding each one.  I noted that he did more Auto Check Outs on the building staff that were doing weird things.  They clearly were not Dog People.  We did some tricks and he was visibly relaxing and it paid off, because I can Be Generous.  Then he saw his most favorite Person. I knew it before she got close. He did an Auto Check Out & wiggled with glee. Reward. Ah, Emily must have walked in.  Emily = FUN to him. Reward. She had his buddy Sweep with her.  Sweep = FUN. Reward.  Butt Wiggles galore and we moved towards his buddies.  Reward. In the few minutes after we had entered the building, he probably gotten about 30-40 rewards. All for good behaviors. All that rewarding reinforced how strong those Quick Connect tools are.  I did almost no cueing except an initial sit command and to tell him he couldn't mob people. I marked every good behavior he offered. I used Patience to quietly observe his emotional state & see what things caught his attention. I used Humor to enjoy the process & see what made him happiest. I could have ignored him, he was behaving nicely enough.  I could have used Excuses and skipped all of this. He is young & will do silly things. But, in just a few minutes, I told him what was rewarding, I maintained Connection and learned so much. Then it was our turn to go!    

As we walked ringside, we were asked if the building staff unloading equipment at the far corner of the building would be a problem.  I confidently said, no. Not only because I can Be Flexible, but because I already used my Be Prepared tool. Pixar & I walked to the entrance, he was rewarded many times for his Loose Leash Walking.  We took off his collar, hung it up, rewarded. I offered the disc to tug on, tugged, asked for an out & I said the magic word "Ready". He threw himself into his Around behavior & he was off after our practice throw. Then he came back, got lots of praise, some rewarding tugging with the disc. I gave the drop command, then the Sit command. The Timer gave us the nod & it was on.  I had no doubt he would perform at that point. I knew he was clocked in, on the job, and ready to party with me. You could say that was my Ego talking. But it wasn't. I had every possible signal from him that he was focused. I had every confidence that our Connection was tight. 90 seconds later, we ended our turn with some fun tugging on the disc, I asked for the out, praised the hell out of him as I put his collar back on.  We walked back out & I immediately started using our Loose Leash Walking tool. Rewards! We did stop to greet a few people, because that is rewarding for him & the job was done. Plus his wiggles of happiness for people crack me up.

   
Obviously my toolbox is pretty full. But unlike earlier last summer, when I was using 1 tool, Be Prepared, and using it poorly.  This time I used lots more tools!  Be Prepared is really handy, but I just kind of threw it at the problem.  Kind of like I was trying to use a Hammer instead of a Compound Miter Saw.  It was a tool, but not the right tool. I had plenty of tools in my toolbox. I didn't even need to dig for them. Instead after wildly swinging Be Prepared around rather uselessly.  I grabbed Despair to beat myself up, used Excuses to blame others, and let my Ego cover up the problems. Eventually, I used those same 3 tools to break down the problem. I pushed aside my Ego so I could see where I had failed. Despair, pushed me to delve into the problem instead of wallowing in it. Excuses, actually told me exactly what I hadn't planned for. Damn it. Using the wrong tools had only made the work really frustrating.   

So I rearranged the toolbox. Despair, Excuses & Ego...firmly at the bottom. They have a use, but only in helping you carefully examine the problem and look for solutions. I put some important tools back on top.  Experience & Knowledge are now right on top. Forgiveness is too. Even with all my tools, I will occasionally grab the wrong one. It's okay to let it go and move on. Use Patience with yourself and your dog. Dig deep for some Humor when things go wrong.  Next week, I'm going to use all these tools again.  

Now, where's that roll of Duct Tape...

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