What the hell kind of title is that? Well, it's not what you think.
I have a whole Bachelor's degree in Speech & Hearing Sciences that I'm really not using. Except it has taken on a fascinating new twist as I work to have a better relationship with my dogs. I want to know more about what the dog can tell me. Not with a fancy word button board, because while an interesting concept, I'm not lugging one with me to competitions. I also don't know how you'd put emotions on the board. I have been paying a lot of attention to Pixar's communication with me. Partially because I didn't think about it a whole lot with Wire, but also because Pixar has had far less exposure to dog sport settings. (Cue the violin as we sing about poor pandemic puppies). In reality, I should be this attentive with all our dogs.
Since my hamster sized dog Betty, I have not had a truly fearful dog. I had some dogs go through fear periods, but nothing like Betty's global fear. Where I had to continually monitor the situation as well as constantly looking to see what Betty noticed in the environment. Now, some of it was nutty. Like a folding chair. A cat picture on a wall of a training facility. A tree stump in the yard. You just never knew what might scare her, and while it was totally illogical to me, it was terrifying to her. I had to respect that her fears were just that...hers. You might have some irrational fears yourself. Spiders? Snakes? Flying? Heights? Fear of missing out? Whatever your fears are, they are yours. Someone out there keeps tarantulas & snakes as pets. People love flying & even jump out of perfectly good planes too. And there are levels to your fears right? A little spider, no big deal. A dark room full of spiders...that's a BIG DEAL.
We were off to a new Toss & Fetch disc venue for Pixar. Now Pixar is usually uber friendly with other dogs. Too uber. We've worked on not visiting and I've paid heavily for attention to me with treats & toy play. And he LOVES disc. But this time, we were going to the training yard of a dog park. All the park areas converge at one entrance point. There are lots of well meaning park goers who will let their dog get in your dog's face. I had some challenges getting there, and I arrived RIGHT at our start time. There was an incident with a metal tool spiked into my van tire. Ugh! That's the dog mobile! It has crates & all my stuff in it. Plan B, take my husband's truck! It's got a extra cab, but now I have 3 dogs loose in the truck vs kenneled. Ugh Ugh. I threw 3 dogs, gear bag, extra gloves into the truck and almost forgot treats. Dang it. No treat bag. Then couldn't find a treat bag, so I grabbed my daughters treat bag. It's got a belt that was sized for a 9 year old's waist. Better than nothing. We roll up to the parking lot & Pixar is super amped seeing all the dogs. And he's loose, in the truck. Wire & Sway were like WTF dude! I wanted to get my gear in the training yard, I knew Pixar was at the beginning of the run order. I wisely got out of the truck alone first and grabbed my stuff. I flailed around frantically changing the belt size, wrong way, shit, make it bigger. I talked to my friend Peggy about the minor vehicle catastrophe & that helped me calm a bit. Then I took a breath and just told myself to RELAX, and then magically I stopped fumbling. I got the treat bag belt sized properly, put it on, grabbed my gear bag & then got Pixar out of the truck.
Pixar was still very amped. He wouldn't take treats, he would sniff them or grab one and spit it out. I still marked if he checked in with me, even though he wasn't taking the treats. He was dragging me as we walked vs our nice loose leash walking. I let that happen because I knew I wasn't going to have the mindset to work on that without frustration on both our parts. Sometimes perfect isn't going to happen...Let it go! We negotiate the oncoming dogs with a short leash & made it into the training field area. Then I got out a disc to use to reward him. We found out we had to wait a while so we played some fun cued disc grabs and then he calmed down & could take treats again. I was really proud of him for connecting with me and not focusing on the dogs playing disc in our immediate area. He also was not paying attention to the general dog park melee on the other side of the chain link fence. He was excited but functional and I knew we were connected. We did our practice throw and I made sure to call him & play tug when he brought back the disc. Then we did our turn. He was focused & played hard, never noticing the dogs in our area or in the big dog park. We leashed up & left with lovely walking, lots of cookies, several sniffs & pees. It was great! I will take that all as a huge success, especially with a young dog & a whole lot of chaos.
After Pixar I worked thru Wire and Sway's turns. The girls were both excellent. Wire has been at this field before & practically led me in. Sway was just happy I picked her to be the one for this round of disc. She is 7.5 years old and steady as can be amongst chaos. Now thunder...that's a nope. But all this, no biggie, give her the disc or treats, whatever but let's go do some work! Gotta love older trained dogs! Pixar got to watch the girls go courtesy of the truck's lack of crates. He was pretty exhausted after his turn, and I didn't even see him as I took Wire in. When I swapped to Sway...he was recovered and made some mournful noises while watching her and I. When we came back he was quietly watching from the driver's seat. He was rather surprised when I asked him to come back out for his second turn.
This time, he was perfect walking to the field, took treats, didn't pull. He was aware of the dogs but not excited by them. I had the disc & treats he took both easily. Then I saw THEM. Great. There are several dog park regulars that we've run into before in past disc seasons. Big dogs who like to case the fence line while we do disc. They bark fiercely and you worry a bit about them going over the fence. The start line is like 25' from that fence line. It's a big distraction. We weren't up yet, so I hoped they'd move on...though I was pretty sure that was a futile wish. There owner is slow and doesn't care that they are jerks. Sure enough...they stayed put. I think they'd love a good fence fight. Pixar might like a good fence fight too...UGH. UGH! Well. Time to find out.
I kept Pixar engaged with me but I also didn't want him to be totally unaware. What had been a safe, happy space, now had a new, different & intense vibe to it. We walked to the line engaged, getting treats. I asked him to sit at my side and he promptly did as asked. However, he was looking a bit wigged out. Big eyes, worried face scrunch. He was sitting but his body was tense. The dogs were behind him. He started throwing Auto Check Outs at those big scary dogs. It was CLEAR that he was worried about them. Those dogs. RIGHT THERE! I marked his Check Outs, rewarded him with treats. He kept throwing his head toward them, more marks & rewards. Then I saw the moment he relaxed. It was like he said to me. "I believe you will keep me safe, I trust you mom." It all happened in less than a minute. It felt like I was delaying everything, but I also knew that my fellow disc mates would understand. They know these big scary dogs are a huge problem. Then I gave the nod and we did it. 1 minute, 4 throws, done, a nice long tug with the disc and then collar back on & lots of cookies as we walked away. Think about it, every time he carried the disc back to me, he was running headlong towards those dogs. He could see them pacing and carrying on. It's very threatening behavior to other dogs. I was so proud. I was super proud of Pixar. I was super proud of me for letting Pixar talk to me. I listened, I reassured him and we persevered.
So I don't have a panel of buttons for dogs to press. Sometimes we just aren't going to communicate when the environment is too exciting. But I have given them a way that they can talk to me. I can pay attention and let them tell me when there is a problem. There can be space oddities and communication breakdowns, that doesn't mean you and the dog have failed. I listened. He was too excited & I wasn't prepared enough to get nice loose leash walking our first time entering the field. Everything aligned the second turn, I was ready, he was ready, but the dog park fairy threw something unexpected at us. I helped reassure him, I helped him know it was okay to do the fun thing, even with the jerks behind the fence yelling at him.
Those kind of dogs are exactly why I don't go to dog parks. Now, is Pixar a fearful dog? Nope. Trust me...sooo NOPE. If I had let that be a bad experience or asked him to perform under duress, I might be dealing with a new problem. Instead we had a huge win. Will I continue to be watching, listening to him and making sure we are connected? You bet. Think how confident he must feel knowing we are partners, that he can tell me something, that he's not trapped in a situation where he has no control. I sure feel better knowing he can talk to me. He was exhausted that evening. He worked very hard...for 2 whole minutes of disc. Good boy Pix, good boy!
